breaking in half // sustaining this flame

When I think of you I break in half because you are not here to share the minutes and hours

You are not here to share the seconds between moments, where the indescribable happens

You are not here to share this bed and frame my head with yours

In your absence, I feel no touch, no kiss, no embrace to which I surrender

Nothing enchants me quite like these memories, I hold in my cerebrum like the antidote to all pain

Our passing moments, each day the ones I have forsaken to leave you crumble me into pieces

I struggle believing I could go on this way forever, in your absence

Missing your real-time emotions and laughter and energy and vibrancy

You are a light that feeds my soul, nothing compares to your hand I can hold

Nothing can replace your body, our love in a space and a time that is defined

Nothing can erase the heart palpitations the image of your presence brings

Sustaining this flame, I wait until I have my soul in full form again.

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Dream House

What do you have to say for this love we built like sand castles

For the way you let my legs drape over your shoulders so that I could use our combined height

To create our dream house

For the way you stood on your tip toes and stretched your arms longer than I have ever witnessed

To build our dream house

For all of the wind and the weather and the waves we ignored to keep building and building, building

To create our dream house

What do you have to say for the fact that we chose a beach and we chose sand

To build our dream house

What do you have to say for the fact that we chose the water but we live in Michigan where it’s cold

What do you have to say for the fact that we took our separate dreams and amputated them from our bodies

To birth our dream house

What do you have to say for the fact that we let these limbs wash away

To create this dream house

What do you have to say- what do you think- what do you think about the separate realities we have attempted to merge

What do you have to say for the fact that I was building a sandy ranch on the beach and you wanted floors, and floors, you wanted a palace

What do you think about the fact that we were both working on the same house but a different dream

What do you have to say about the names I wrote in the sand, how I perfectly merged our names

How nothing ever really stays

in sand- it either blows away, or is crushed, or washes away

What do you have to say. What do you think about the fact that we have not washed away

But the floors of this dream house keep collapsing

Each gust of wind is like a spell against us

To build this dream house

What do you have to say of all the sand covered spells we cast on each other with eyes and tongues

What do you have to say of all the sand covered love we have shared in the sun

When the winter we live in has crept up slowly on our backs

And the tingle on my spine has a name written in the sand but it washed away with ours

And what do you have to say. What do you have to dream about anymore?

Now that the water has come and gone are the walls and the floors and every imaginary door

Of our dream house

sandcastle