Empty tombs

Bodies scattered around rooms

I thought I died when you left me.

I failed to take one breath,

Then another,

Then another

Isn’t it better to marry the earth?

Isn’t it better to surrender suffering?

I failed to take one step

Then another,

Then another

Isn’t it better to never know?

What would we have been

If your roots would’ve charged through me like veins, like a virus

Isn’t that what love is?

I turn to the toxic ones like a smoker with their fix

I cannot tell if my breath is becoming deeper or more shallow

Does it matter?

Does it matter, as long as the breath continues?

I’m not a champion

You were the athlete

I was the passerby,

Turned victim

You were the victim,

Turned perpetrator

The lines are so thin they bleed

The world is close to ending

Is as good a reason as any

To end mine

All paths lead to death

Is as good a point to make when you’re covered in shards of my heart

And I, still dancing with shadows

The visions blur and I wonder how many more breaths until the last breath

It doesn’t matter

I’m breathing,

In your mouth, my final organ beating

Do you hear the music?

Do you speak the language of living?

You must, with the delicate disaster you’ve made of me

The blood spatters like Rorschach plots

This one looks like murder,

And this one looks like love

Same eyes, disparate vision

Here lies my last decision.

(March 9, 2023)